Seth Lamble

I thought number 3 was perfect for my brothers, so if you guys use that line tomorrow, I expect aknowledgement. And if you are a member of this family you should know where the last one was used. As a hint it was in the second movie of the first trilogy.

1. You are the syrup on my waffles.

2. Um. So. Yeah. 100%.

3. I don’t care if I have to wield a pitchfork with one hand, and a roaring chainsaw with the other, no zombies will ever eat your brains. Not while I live.

4. My pillows smell so much better when you’ve slept on them.

5. I read every single one of your tweets.

6. I wish you were key-chain sized. I’d put you in my pocket and take you everywhere.

7. Even if you forget who I am when we’re old and fat, I’ll still come to visit you and read your stuff, just like in that stupid movie that always makes you cry.

8. If you want to be with another guy, that’s totally cool. I’ll just spend the rest of my life sitting on a bar stool, nursing a beer and hoping the glow of the jukebox playing our song over and over masks my red, swollen eyes.

9. From the moment I met you, I’ve wanted you and that hasn’t changed. Never will.

10. I have brought you meat, the roses of the caveman! Now, I will make FIRE!

11. I had this dream the other night. I was stumbling through a forest at night. It was dark and I couldn’t see where I was going and in the distance I could hear wolves howling. Then the cloud cleared and the moon illuminated a path to a village. Only it wasn’t a moon. It was your beautiful face, glowing silver against the night sky. What the heck do you think THAT means?

12. I am a grown man, but I have to be honest: you’re my personal night light.

13. G’head. Take the last beer.

14. Here’s a baseball bat. Just hide it under your bed while I’m away on business.

15. As a Vulcan, I recognize the significance of a quickened heartbeat, sweaty palms and heightened activity in my brain’s pleasure centers when you are around. However, I do not fully comprehend why I feel compelled to kiss you nonstop. I find it … fascinating.

16. I am perfectly happy co-depending on you.

17. When I was a kid, there was this amusement park that had a ride that would spin you around really fast. It was so much fun. I’d ride that thing all day, and every time I’d get off it, I’d be laughing but thinking I was going to puke. All day long: laughing while on the verge of vomiting. That’s how I feel right now.

18. Your face tastes like cake and dynamite. Dynacake!

19. I have a lifetime subscription to You Magazine, the magazine about you, for me. By the way, you look stunning on the cover, just like every month.

20. You had me at, “Who are you?”

21. I wrote you this poem: “Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day? Thou art so hot.”

22. I want to be your personal airbag.

23. I know

It is funny, a certain grouping of people I know hate ‘revisionist’ history. Many have similar outlooks as those on the Texas board of education. Revisionist history of the United States is bad, it casts us in a bad light, tearing down of many of our heros and sacred history. In many ways I consider history scientific, in that it requires constant study and consideration to get at the answers.

This post is about something I have been hearing about frequently since living in this little corner of the midwest. This is that the Civil War was no about slavery. That it was about states rights versus federal rights. I always want to point out to those people was that the right that the states wanted to preserve was the right to own slaves. Which was a direct violation of the spirit of the Founding Fathers. Don’t even bring them up around here though. The North was full of a bunch of a$$holes that were trampling the poor rights of the South. Just like gay people wanting to adopt children or be married, in the eyes of the government, are trampling on the rights of straight people I suspect.

Another defense I have heard, is that slaves didn’t have it so bad in America. Since we are such a phenomenal Capitalist country, and capitalism is perfect with no flaws, hadn’t it pretty nice. This is because slaves are property and as property a good capitalist wouldn’t have abused his/her slaves. They would have treated them very well and given them all the rights and privileges as a free person. I know most of my information on the treatment of slaves comes from movies, and those are alway 100% accurate, but I doubt it was hunky doory for the slaves. Even for those that were treated like family, still had no rights, could not leave, did not have the freedoms that the Sons of the Confederacy now claim were what the war was all about. The same people that say slaves were happy being part of the family, are the same people that say a prostitute they paid for sex, loves them.

The Daily Show points out how in the very declaration of the South for the secession, that the reason for the civil war cited by those secceeding was all about Slavery.

It has also been pointed out that Lincoln’s goal was to save the Union (which if you read the first pharagrph of the first link you will see we were no longer a Union but a Nation). He said that if he could free every slave to save the union he would, if keeping every slave a slave would save the union he would and if somewhere in between would save the union he would. Now in my opinion the writing was on the wall, slaver/abolition was on its way one way or the other. And certain elements of the South, having one so many presidency’s and control of congress for so long, were seeing their dominance disappearring. In the end possibly what the South said was the cause of the civil war in their own declaration of secession (I should probably learn how to spell that correctly) may not be the entirety of the answer, but I am betting it is 80% of the answer.