Seth Lamble

So this past week I was having a lot of fun with the local Primary (Elementary) Schoolers. The scene would break down like this:
(In Swahili all Seth)
“Mtoto, Mtoto, Kuja, Kuja”
“Ninapenda Kula watoto, Ndiyo?”

or

“Mtoto Mtoto, Kuja, Kuja”
“Ninapenda Kupika Nyama ya watoto, Ndiyo?”

The first one translates to:
“Kid, Kid, come come”
“I like to eat children, yes?”

and the second one is:
“Kid, Kid, come, come”
“I like to eat children meat, yes?”

Most of the kids know I am joking but they giggle uncontrollably, and to add a little bit of punch I lope (yeah I said lope, deal with it) after them making terrifying sounds. Sadly while most of them realize I am kidding, I fear I have irrevocably scarred some children, ahh well, I was scared of Ghostbusters till I was like 14 (thanks Rachel) and I am still scared of flesh eating zombies.

Still no word on the wallet, finally just told PC and they are going about the process of replacing it, I should be able to get a new bank card and ID around the time that my Children’s Children join Peace Corps, at the speed that my evil overlords work.

I have recently asked my Landlord (who is opening a Duka {read shop that sells stuff} in my houses compound) if after he is done with his current constructin project if he will be able to build me a tower so I can see things far off, and he agreed, well actually he said yes and the Fundi (engineer/technician/carpenter/people that can build anything) said he knew how. So soon to add to my retinue of things to do will be to look out from my perch. It is fun to watch the sun set and more than once I have sat there reading letters, or composing one myself, or just watching the kids play, and the cattle graze.

So I heard from my mom about my Debit Card (if you haven’t heard I lost that in the Post Office in Kitui back in like October or December) she mailed me a replacement, and recently after receiving some backlogged letters from the Corps, it was lacking in presence. Ma checked with my bank and it turns out that somehow I have been in Nairobi trying to make purchases and attempting to go on Safari’s. Needless to say this is news to me. Luckily ma and I had forseen this and measures had been put in place to prevent any monetary loss. Now my poor mother is going to try a second time to replace my card, hopefully it makes it through. Not that I need access to money to do stuff here, the living allowance Peace Corps provides is more than enough to live comfortably, but it is always good to have a plan B.

Also if Weston Weisz (or Westonn Weis or Wesston Weisz or any other combination of possible names) is reading this and you happen to have served in Kenya with the Peace Corps during the 79-80 time period, or around then, could you please inform me of your readership, one of the local shop owners was apparently taught by you and would like to get back in contact. Yeah I know it is a long shot, but as you will read below I must try and make up for my evil ways.)

I have also uploaded a few photos, and made the usual rounds on the e-mail circuit, I am sorry if I have not responded quickly to e-mails and letters, as I keep telling people I am a inherently bad person. Hopefully I will have a few letters off this week, if you have not received one yet (or several) it is not because I hate you (well except for that one person that did that one thing) but more that I am a slow writer and I try to be witty and tailor each letter to a specific person or group. (That and I am a bad person.)

Hopefully there will be more updates as time progresses and everyone will receive letters from me.

Sorry I came to Kakamega today to mail off some stuff to PC, my W-2 to my tax consultant, and send my bike into PC to be repaired. In the rush I forgot my camera so I won’t be loading any more photos on the net, I know I am a bad person, no one believes me when I tell them though.

So no news on the Wallet (which apparently sounds like watch to my students when I say it, and apparently I make a shh shh shh sound whenever I talk because I have a weird accent). Finally reported it to PC, that will all be replaced in about a month or so more than likely.

Finally received a bunch of back logged letters from PC, got a bunch of X-mas cards and a few from ma and pa talking about stuff before thanksgiving.

Beyond that I might become the Scout leader for my Secondary Schools Boy Scout troop. The Girl Scouts/Guides have the Deputy Headmaster(mistress) and she is really into it, but I am the only Boy Scout around so I might be taking over that duty. Also I have been asked to help out with the Football (soccer) teams, sadly my skills with football are limited, both the kind I played in HS and the kind played everywhere else. I guess I could work on conditioning, but the kids are probably in better condition than I am. That might all change in 2 years though.

So I have started cooking Chapati, which are similar to greasy tortillas, needless to say I am not as skilled as any of the Kenyan Mama’s that make it, but I am getting better. I have added Salt, Garlic Powder, Black Pepper and Royco Beef Flavoring to various batches. The Salt isn’t the best, and I would liken the flavor of the Royco chapati’s to what I would expect evil to taste like, if it had a taste, (this is on top of the greasyness of Sin, as Sean and I discussed from the movie The Order). But the Garlic and Black Pepper ones were tasty.

Today after doing the chores I felt needed to be done I just started wondering around Kakamega, it is fascinating with that I have spent 3 months here almost and I have barely scratched the surface of this town, let alone Khayega or Kisumu. I shouldn’t have been so lazy back in December. Course the same can be said for Wichita and OP, how much time did I spend exploring those locals, just moved about my usual circuit.

Alright, due to my monetary difficulties I am going to cut this short, that and my list of things to write about is still in my lost wallet (not watch).

See you all on the flip side

Yes I am aware I should be at school right now.

But on Saturday night I lost my wallet on a Matatu, call me Naive, but I prefer to say I lost my wallet over saying my pocket was picked by the Tout, school girl, or young lady, each of which sat next to me, and each of which if accussed of theft by anyone let alone a white person will have the living snot kicked out of them. But after finding the Matatu I lost it on, there was no sign of it, again my Naivety(?) makes me think somebody just picked up when they saw it on the seat, with intentions of turning it in to the proper authorities (more on them later)

Well needless to say I lost my PC ID card, my Capital One Card, my CBA bank card (Central Bank of Africa, it is the bank that PC uses to pay volunteers their living allowance), a American Dollar (don’t ask), a internet surf card and a few hundred shillings. The money is of very little importance, and the wallet itself was just a pouch I received with my cell phone, I would like my ID, CBA and CO cards back, all 3 of which are going to be a headache to replace. I have told the local chiefs about my lost wallet, along with a bunch of other well traveled individuals, hopefully someone will come across it, apparently in this part of Kenya, even the American Dollar is relatively worthless, so the whole kit and kaboodle may have just been tossed to the side.

Well outside the local chiefs I went up on Sunday to fill out a police report on my lost wallet. I was told that if I do that, if a police officer finds it in their meanderings I may get it back through them. Well apparently the officer in charge of filling out police reports doesn’t come in on Sundays. I should come back during the week, then from my fellow teachers that most police officers only work about 5 hours a day, so I have to come in before 2, needless to say that is kind of hampered with, you know, teaching, which is the whole point of me being in Kenya. Compounding that fact is that I am on Duty this week, that means I am supposed to be the first person at school (about 6:30 AM) and the last to leave (6:00 PM) every day of this week. Well as the days go by I worry, and I talked to my school’s headmaster, Kizito, and work it with some of the other teachers so I can head to town on Thursday afternoon, and return before the end of the school day so I might fill out my police report. So I cram a bunch of lessons into the early morning and then hitch a ride to town. Well I get to the police station and low and behold that I have to pay the police to fill out a police report for every item I lost (this is not a bribe, I actually have to pay public officials to do their jobs, eh different culture, what can you do). Didn’t know that and since I am now gun shy about losing money I didn’t carry any more then I needed for the rides to and from, luckily I had been able to hitch into town, so I had just enough to pay for the police report on my lost ID card, hopefully if that is found the others will join it soon or at the same time. Well after walking all around a building that looks like it is from a bad movie about the end o’ the world, I finally talk to the Detective who is in charge of the police reports. I get my report (abstracts are what they are called here abouts) and he asks me to help him out with lunch, he was actually very helpful, and if I had had the money I would have, (even though that amounts to little more than a bribe in food form), but sadly I did not have the cash on me. Now I will never know if buying the detective lunch may have expidited the recovery of my lost items. Big Sigh.

Beyond all of that I am upset with myself for considering to buy the officer lunch, because I would have been effectively bribing him, just compounding the problem of briberys here.

Sigh, oh well Peace Corps doesn’t know yet, I will tell them next week, I still have a checkbook so I can get cash that way, but i know that the second I inform them of my lost ID and CBA card that will start numerous headaches, I just don’t want to deal with right now, that and with the little experience I have had with certain aspects of PC administration in Kenya, I fear that they will not handle it well and treat it like the end of the world.

Sigh

Or at least that is what I tell my students every time I walk into the classroom.

Alright so last time I wrote about some stuff from a list I have been making. Namely Kenny Rogers/50 Cent and Darkstar Safari. I have about 2 or 3 dozen things to write about, so about time to start clearing the list. There are no transitions in between subjects, I refuse to use transitions, so deal with that all of you English Language Specialists .

First off is the Economist and the New Yorker, people from the U.S. Embassy suggest we get subscriptions to these if we plan to take the Foreign Service Exam. The Foreign Service Exam, what is that you may ask, well that is the exam a American needs to take if they want to make it very far in the State Department. Now who knows if I actually want to make it far in the state department, but it would be fun to take the exam anyways at the end of service. So I think I am going to put some effort into getting those magazines. Then there is National Geographic, which is always fun to read, and is pretty densely packed with both articles and advertisements, I think I will use the advertisements as kindling. Next up is the Christian Science Monitor, despite the name, I have been told it has little to do with Christianity or Science, and that it is a very well written news magazine. I have also been told that this magazine is given freely to PCVs, something I will need to investigate. And finally there is the Newsweek Internationals that all PCV receive, 1 a week, but they are sent out in in bimonthly mailings to us at site.

On my list is also something about Peace Corps Rules. Now I might moan and whine like many other volunteers about the strictness of the rules here. But in all reality most of the rules about safety are legitimate and not that restraining. And the rules requiring us to stay at site are not a problem in the Volunteer perspective. I am here to serve Kenya, and requiring me to stay at site only insures that. So in all reality PC rules might seem restrictive, but if one is doing what one joined the PC to do then they aren’t anything more than superflous.

Rice is fun to buy from road side stands. If you buy it at the supermarkets in major towns it is no different from the rice one buys at home. But at the stands often times people will weight their bags with small white pebbles (or if it is beans or something else, then small brown pebbles, so on and so forth) so whenever you want to make yourself a serving of rice you must pick through the rice looking for all the little pebbles. It is lots o’ fun.

Dust vs. Mud
I remember back at Boy Scout camp we would spend hours, instead of working on merit badges, thinking up battles between various super heroes and television characters. Well here in Kenya it is a battle between dust and mud. Right now in Western Province it is the Dry season, which means it is very dusty. I can’t leave my windows open at night because large vehicles will pass by and I will spend a few moments chocking on dust every night. Dust covers everything in my house, sweeping is a daily occurrence during this time. But in a few weeks the Rainy season will begin, and continue for about 10 months. I have been told that cars can not travel on the road near my house because the mud becomes to deep. And that walking to school the teachers and students use the farms to walk, because it is relatively impossible to walk on the muddy roads. Thus I must decide which one I prefer the dust or the mud.

So my house has piped water, course the water only runs about once a week, and is usually filled with sediment, because a pipe burst somewhere and is not safe to drink. So I must store water. I have a 100 Liter container, a 50 Liter and 4 20 liter containers for water storage. Problem is the sediment from the pipes settle at the bottom of the containers so now I have to wait until I empty them to clean them out, and then fill them up again. Such is the minimal hardships I have to deal with.

I don’t know what makes me cry more, Uji, Kale or Krest Tonic Water. Uji is just liquid Ugali, which is just boiled corn meal. It has no taste, well it has a taste (I believe I would call it evil tasting). Kale reminds me of spinach, it is favored by many of the other volunteers, but it reminds me of a cow chewing leaves, it is not high on my preference list, and finally there is Krest Tonic Water, which is just carbonated water. When I am offered any of these I am disinclined to refuse, but consuming any of them makes me cry inside, and makes me want to cut out my tongue to make the taste stop.

Alright last subject for the day is the eating of Sugar Cane. Sugar Cane is a major crop here, in Western Province we have the massive (and in my opinion evil) company of Mumias that produces Sugar, in Nyanza Province there is a similar company by the name of Sonyo or some such. Now not all the sugar cane grown is given to the companies some of it is sold at the road side in foot long lengths. Many Kenyans just chew this raw sugar cane. I have had a bit of it, if you want to have a similar experience peel some bark off a tree and soak it in sugar, then chew on it, same effect. I don’t think I am going to take it up because it is very hard, and I fear damaging my teeth.

Alright that is it for now. Peace Out y’all.